I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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