Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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