it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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