She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
