New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Farmville is her only friend.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
