my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I can text with my tongue
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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