Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
