I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
