Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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