I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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