If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
