did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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