Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She told me I should be a condom model.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
