I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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