How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
