So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
