Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
