you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
