She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
