I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
