Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
