yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
