i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
