At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
