pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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