this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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