Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
