So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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