on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think I am morally bankrupt
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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