From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Everything about him screamed your future.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
