I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
