playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
