Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
