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We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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