You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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