I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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