How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
