this boner is exhausting
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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