$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
