It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
