took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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