Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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