I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
