I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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