Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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