I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
How's work?
Spinning.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
