I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
