Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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