i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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