Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
