I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
this beer tastes like vomit already
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
