Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
